Marriage over Media (part 2)

It is not your job to speak for your spouse.

I read posts and statuses daily from others declaring the love of their significant other. Demanding attention and agreement from peers. While social media has given us so many things, it has taken away just as much. We have found ourselves living in a world where woman and men alike constantly defend their relationships and whether it’s genuine or not on Facebook. If you are constantly defending your spouse or proclaiming his love for you, you are not the problem. You are only half the problem. You should never defend his love for you. You should never have to convince another person, especially another woman of your mans love for you. That’s his job. If he can’t profess his love for you on his own, you don’t need him.

Social media has taken things that should be done behind closed doors, in the privacy of your home and your heart and put it out for the world to see. We have got to stop looking for instant gratification online and take it back where it belongs. Nine times out of ten, others are not sharing in your heartaches anyway. They are laughing at it. It’s a sad truth. We have become so accustomed to sharing all of our thoughts with our “followers” that we’ve begun giving away pieces of ourselves and our marriages.  Something’s just aren’t meant for the world. They are meant for two people. You don’t hide love, you can’t. For it is something that is seen by all. You don’t defend love, it defends itself.

Just a little food for thought. Instead of taking your precious time to convince others how happy you are and well your relationship is, disconnect from the social world and reconnect with the center of your world. Your husband (or wife of course).

You can’t silence a Mother.

I am a fighter. I am a giver. I am the first to say when you are wrong, and the first to stand behind you. I am opinionated, and I care. I love you. I am your mother.

A few days ago I stumbled across an article by another woman. In short she stated that “there is nothing special about being a mother, especially a stay at home mother. Anyone can do it. Being a mother is not an accomplishment.” I disagree. Becoming a mother is the greatest privilege of a woman. In today’s society it seems if we aren’t chasing a career or becoming a millionaire we are less than equal. I find that hard to swallow.

Somewhere along the way society has forgotten what a mother truly is. I am not an oven. I didn’t carry you for nine months to throw you to the wolves of this world. I will not allow them to chew you up and spit you out. I will stand by you, beside you, and in front of you when needed. I am your mother and you are my world.

There aren’t many things in this world that will send me into a fit of rage but let me assure you, my children are top on the list of things that will. I take my family as serious as one can. I am a young mother who works a full tim job. I dedicate every free moment of my life to my family. My husband is our rock. He is the provider, and the head of our home. I am proud to say I dote on my children and my husband. I would gladly give up anything and everything that should stand between me and those three.

Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but since when should ours be silenced? You can’t silence a mother and I refuse to be quite. It seems the only thing in mainstream media these days are from people taking away Jesus, taking away our pride, and those that belittle one who may be different. Being different is what makes each one of us special. I don’t judge those who choose not to have children and spend their lives married. I am proud of the life I’ve made for myself. I’m proud of the home I’ve built. Each of us come together completing our family. That is something to be proud of, not frowned upon. Regardless of whether you see it making front page news.

My children are the greatest thing I’ve ever experienced. My family, my husband, and my two beautiful children are by far my greatest accomplishment. Anyone who says that isn’t an “accomplishment” has never experienced true love. I don’t just kiss boo boo’s, and comb hair. I am much more than a cook, and house keeper. I am a mother. I create people. Real, living, breathing, people. Some children will grow up to be doctors or lawyers, others an artist or teacher. Remember if it where not for a mother these “people” would fail to exist.

Being a mother is the hardest job there is. The balancing act between love and discipline. Trying to build a strong bond with each of them. Allowing them to grow and experience life. Teaching them love, respect, honesty, and then allowing them to spread their wings and fly. A mother gives her entire life for her children. Every ounce of time and every smidgen of love a heart can hold. Only to release and let them go. Before you say being a mother isn’t hard, before you say being a mother isn’t something to be proud of, ask yourself who you would be today without the role of your mother.

Yesterday’s role in today’s society.

Call me old fashioned, but I believe a marriage is made for two people and two people only. I know there are some woman out there who aren’t going to like what I’m about to say, but I think a woman and a man have their own place in a marriage. Yes, I think there are roles we should live by. I’m not saying he should be egotistical and control everything. I am however saying that I believe the divorce rate is so high these days because men don’t feel like men and woman aren’t treated like woman.

Note: My beliefs do not have to be the same as yours. We can agree to disagree.

I personally enjoy going home after work, cooking dinner, fixing plates, and serving my husband and children. They all appreciate it, and truthfully it’s much easier. I genuinely enjoy being the glue in our family. I believe that is my purpose. My husband and children give me purpose. Don’t get me wrong, I am still entitled to be who I choose outside of being a mother, but If I had to choose, I’d be wife and mother anyway.

You would have to understand my upbringing and the woman of influence in my life. All sharing the same beliefs as me. I believe a man should work, take are of his family, and treat his wife like the lady she is. He should be the head of household, in all aspects. As a woman I believe it is my job, my right as a wife and mother to take care of my children and the home we’ve created. Now again, some people are surely rolling theirs eyes and turning red in the face. This is my choice. Not yours.

I think men should be treated like men. They should have dinner prepared by a wife that is more than happy to dote on them. I keep seeing blog after blog, article after article about how to “spice up” your marriage. Well let me just throw this out there and get it out of the way. When you’re having problems on the home front with just two people, the last thing you need to do is add another person to the equation. “Two’s a party, three’s a crowd.” I believe marriage was made for is two people. What you do, and who you do it with should be your spouse.

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That word seems to be thrown around an awful lot lately. Excuse me, but I thought it was pretty much common sense that when two people marry it was for until death do we part. It’s in the fine print, and it’s in your vows. I just don’t understand how people throw their marriage around like a designer handbag. Only to discard it when it’s out of season. People say the divorce rate is so high for many different reasons, I laugh every time I hear “they don’t make love like the used to“. They never made love to begin with. People create it. Each of us, and for the love of me I can’t seem to grasp how you quite loving someone. You either still do or never truly did.

To divorce someone simply because you don’t love them, is as silly as marrying them because you do.

Think about it. Let that sink in. Exactly. People need to get off the high horse, and get back into the marriage. Stop allowing what is currently “socially acceptable” to control your life. You give the respect you want in return. Prove to your spouse and yourself that you are in this marriage for the long haul and for the right reasons. One day, you’ll be old and grey (if you don’t use Clairol) sitting in your rocking chair by the person who spoke the same vows as you. Still fully committed to you. Time will pass, looks will fade, and feelings will change, but as long as you give your marriage and home the attention it needs, it will continue to blossom and I can assure you, there is no greater accomplishment than a successful, lifelong partnership. A marriage that leaves behind a legacy.