Do your children “live” where they live?

I’m curious how many people allow their children to actually live in their home.

If you come to my house, you will quickly realize that it isn’t spotless. I ask that you be understanding and see that I would rather lay in Chances’ floor reading books with him or CG’s room playing dolls. I grew up where everything had a place and you kept it all together, all the time. My kids? Well, by now you can probably guess that I’m a little more relaxed in that department. Sometimes, I just like to sit and watch them play. Wherever it may be.

If you can’t accept that two little people live here and share their toys with everyone, scattering them through the house, you wouldn’t make good company for us.

Why is it that the kitchen is the one place that can be cleaned 10 times a day and still be dirty? I am 90% finished cleaning our house yet random dishes make their way to the sink and clutter seems to migrate to the kitchen table. Where is it coming from???? I love a clean house, but I absolutely detest giving up time with my kids to clean it!

Legos, doll clothes, and puzzle pieces are among the most popular items this week. It can be challenging finding the balance between allowing your children to play freely and creating boundaries.

Children have their entire lives to have someone stand over them and dictate. I believe in cleanliness and teaching them to cleanup but this is their house. This is their home and they have the right to enjoy it like everyone else. I don’t tell my husband to play games on his phone in our room and practice his “duck calling” in his shed. He doesn’t tell me to read my kindle in our room so why should I confine our children to theirs?

You can’t silence a Mother.

I am a fighter. I am a giver. I am the first to say when you are wrong, and the first to stand behind you. I am opinionated, and I care. I love you. I am your mother.

A few days ago I stumbled across an article by another woman. In short she stated that “there is nothing special about being a mother, especially a stay at home mother. Anyone can do it. Being a mother is not an accomplishment.” I disagree. Becoming a mother is the greatest privilege of a woman. In today’s society it seems if we aren’t chasing a career or becoming a millionaire we are less than equal. I find that hard to swallow.

Somewhere along the way society has forgotten what a mother truly is. I am not an oven. I didn’t carry you for nine months to throw you to the wolves of this world. I will not allow them to chew you up and spit you out. I will stand by you, beside you, and in front of you when needed. I am your mother and you are my world.

There aren’t many things in this world that will send me into a fit of rage but let me assure you, my children are top on the list of things that will. I take my family as serious as one can. I am a young mother who works a full tim job. I dedicate every free moment of my life to my family. My husband is our rock. He is the provider, and the head of our home. I am proud to say I dote on my children and my husband. I would gladly give up anything and everything that should stand between me and those three.

Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but since when should ours be silenced? You can’t silence a mother and I refuse to be quite. It seems the only thing in mainstream media these days are from people taking away Jesus, taking away our pride, and those that belittle one who may be different. Being different is what makes each one of us special. I don’t judge those who choose not to have children and spend their lives married. I am proud of the life I’ve made for myself. I’m proud of the home I’ve built. Each of us come together completing our family. That is something to be proud of, not frowned upon. Regardless of whether you see it making front page news.

My children are the greatest thing I’ve ever experienced. My family, my husband, and my two beautiful children are by far my greatest accomplishment. Anyone who says that isn’t an “accomplishment” has never experienced true love. I don’t just kiss boo boo’s, and comb hair. I am much more than a cook, and house keeper. I am a mother. I create people. Real, living, breathing, people. Some children will grow up to be doctors or lawyers, others an artist or teacher. Remember if it where not for a mother these “people” would fail to exist.

Being a mother is the hardest job there is. The balancing act between love and discipline. Trying to build a strong bond with each of them. Allowing them to grow and experience life. Teaching them love, respect, honesty, and then allowing them to spread their wings and fly. A mother gives her entire life for her children. Every ounce of time and every smidgen of love a heart can hold. Only to release and let them go. Before you say being a mother isn’t hard, before you say being a mother isn’t something to be proud of, ask yourself who you would be today without the role of your mother.

Asset or liability?

Years ago someone told me to “pick someone that’s an asset not a liability.”

Your marriage isn’t a “business”, it is however a lifetime of investments. People seem to forget these things going into relationships. Of course things are fun in the beginning. It’s fresh and new. The true test is keeping it that way. For a marriage to be successful it has to have two unselfish people, but at least one of those two have to take the initiative. The quickest way to ruin a marriage is the tit for tat routine.

Treat each day as it is, a new one. Take a moment to send a text, or make a call. Take a moment to let your spouse know they’re important. So many others out there wish for only the opportunity. We are the only thing standing in the gap between success and failure. We all fall short. No one person is perfect, the key is finding the problem and working through it. If you spent 1/4 of your time building up your spouse instead of tearing them down you’d be in a completely different relationship altogether.

Like any investment, you must safeguard it. You don’t invest your life savings in stock and expect someone else to monitor it do you? No! You take the time daily to make sure it’s not just maintaining, but skyrocketing. So why would you invest your heart in something without insuring it? Take the time to appreciate your marriage and your spouse, and the value of it will increase. Think about it. The wheels are turning now. You can use any concept you want but the fact remains, a relationship takes work, and a marriage is a full time job. Don’t ask someone to invest in something with you, that you aren’t truly willing to invest the same. That’s why it’s called a partnership.

Firmly investing in your marriage at any cost is much cheaper than a divorce. In divorce you loose far more than anything money can buy.-Terress Martina

Big boys don’t cry (but Mommas do).

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I woke up a little early this morning and after getting dressed, I strolled to the kitchen and removed lunches from the fridge (as usual), and placed them in their designated bags. I woke up my children from oldest to youngest and arranged backpacks. All in the same ritualistic motions as I do every morning.

Somewhere between my driveway and the school parking lot, I must have missed someone pressing “fast forward”. As I watched him gather his things in the rearview mirror, I couldn’t help but notice his hair perfectly combed to the side, his new school shirt crisp and clean, not a stitch out of place. He looked so sweet, so perfect, so brave. That was until the car door opened.

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Walking to the front door of the school, I’m taking the 1 million pictures that I always do of every first and I can’t help but notice he seems anxious. With a few encouraging words from Mom, he was ready to kick Pre K butt! Just as we’re walking inside he let’s a small courageous smile creep out and says “Big boys don’t cry.”

We check in at the office and head for the classroom. Immediately I notice the door looks like a giant yellow
minion“, a character from a movie he recently watched. He thought that seemed funny. Deep breathe, and the doors opens. He scans the room taking in all of the art, and bright colors covering the walls. The teacher is kind, bubbly, sweet, and within a second he takes to her. He seemed so self assured. Far different from the little boy who only moments ago hopped out from the booster in my back seat, and suddenly, this Momma wasn’t.

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Do you really understand the impact a teacher has on a child or a child has on a teacher? I hope so. Our children will grow to trust, mimic, care for, and even love their teachers. Teachers carry an immense amount of responsibility. One teacher can potentially make or break a child. More life lessons are learned in a classroom than almost anywhere else. That teacher, has the ability, the right to to groom our children into young adults.

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Being a parent is far more than just having a child. We are raising a future President, astronaut, teacher, pastor, coach, or any of the other 1 billion jobs out there they may want to do when they “grow up”. A teacher shares in that journey. When you send your child to school, you loose a little piece of control. You give another person the responsibility of helping to mold your future grown up. As a Mom, that isn’t easy for me and I’m woman enough to admit it.

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Somehow, my mind seemed to have lost all control to function. As I was waving goodbye to my baby boy, it was as if I where saying hello to my little man. So full of pride for him and complete heartbreak for myself. I really don’t know how we got to this place so fast. Of course I cried, and I had to excuse myself to pull it together in the hall. Finally managing a goodbye, I left. As I made it to my car, and managed to drive myself to work I heard his little voice “Big boys don’t cry.” and I thought to myself “No, but Mommas do.

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Getting Schooled

“What do say in a moment like this, when you can’t find the words to tell it like it is? Just bite your tongue and let your heart lead the way. Oh what do you say?”

I find myself saying that more and more often these days. With two young children it’s a hard thing to tell it like it is. It starts when someone takes a toy, or doesn’t want to share, but what about when it’s a real heart breaker?

My son just turned five and started his first year of school. One of the kids in his class is down right mean. To the point of knowing he’s mean and doesn’t care. On several occasions he has hit my son, kicked him, hit him with other objects, and snatched toys away. Then, when he’s asked to give them back you’re not sure of he’s going to throw a fit or throw the toy at someones head.

A few days ago, driving home from school he seemed a little upset. After asking what’s wrong, he responded with an answer that truly brought tears to my eyes. “I just want to be his friend, everyone needs a friend, and he has none. Maybe if he had one friend, he would be nice, and have a lot of friends.” Isn’t amazing how someone so young has a heart so pure? It doesn’t bother him that the child has been ugly. He only wants to help the kid.

Boy, couldn’t we learn a few things from this? How many times have you experienced similar upsets? Someone else taking something you wanted or worked for. Someone else saying unkind words to or about you. It’s hard to turn the other cheek, but even harder to love them anyway. Can you imagine what this world would be like if we could love the way children do?

Whole heartedly, with all trust, and believing that you can help anyone. Man it must feel amazing to have the confidence of a five year old.