Time Hopping….Updates.

Seeing his small face and sweet smile is like taking a sledge hammer to the walls I’ve built. I have learned not to get your hopes up. To be optimistic. To pray. To believe. To never give up. To hold on and to stay strong, but never make an assumption. Life changes so quickly.

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People say all the time “I don’t know how you do it”. Truth is, I don’t have a choice. This is life for me. For us. Waking up, packing up, loading up, and driving. Only to wait and hope that they may know something new. It has become the norm in my life. Not easy, just normal. Chance was very young when he got his diagnosis. Things have just kept moving after that. Not to say life hasn’t been amazing but it just kept going. Life has a way of doing that. You wake up one day and it’s been four years. Familiar with the app “time hop”? Me too. Just this morning a picture from three years ago came up and it was of Chance. Small, still had baby fat on his cheeks, eating a donut in the hotel room the night before a surgery. It’s weird how that happens. Seeing something and going back in time. I remember each doctors appointment. Each visit, and every surgery. I try to push certain things into the back of my mind. Not as though they haven’t happened, but to make it less heart breaking. With each trip, and each surgery he becomes more agitated, more upset. It gets harder.

 

We are looking at number 15 in the very near future. It was supposed to be on the 29th of December, but it has been postponed until they get the new machines in. To give an update of all recent events, we’ve ran into some other seemingly “small” issues. After several kids in his class came down with the flu, the instant he ran a fever went to the local ER. No flu, no strep, everything was normal. A chest x-ray showed us a small lesion in his lung. Of course the first question was “how did this happen?” followed by “what do we do now?”. The answer was simple, find another doctor to answer them and so, we where on the road again. This time we found ourselves in Pensacola at the Numours Childrens Hospital.

 

 

 

Hands down, the most family oriented hospital I’ve ever been too. We felt safe and comfortable the moment we opened the car door. After meeting the doctor and running several tests, we where told that the “lesion” is easier explained as a hole. We where home bound. Happy, and hopeful that two weeks of medicine and a follow up would show that it is gone or at least shrinking. Fast forward, that’s been a month ago. Just got the call yesterday that it (the hole) is still there. I’m unaware of any details other than “it is still there”. They’ve asked that we come back. I’ll be leaving Sunday afternoon to make the drive back out. Obviously, I’m unsure of where that leaves us.

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Once these new findings are discussed we are still looking at the surgery for the 13th of January. In some way I feel like we’ve made no progress, other times I feel like we’re making leaps and bounds. There are so many new findings in the medical world every day. They have come up with a new treatment option and seem optimistic and genuinely hopeful that this will make a difference. Still no word on a “CURE” but hey, progress is progress. I appreciate all of the love, support, and prayers that have been sent up for Chance, and for us as a family. I ask you to continue your thoughts and prayers as we move forward in our journey.

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Thank you.

They say “it takes a village to raise a child.” and that is very true. We are so blessed with family and friends that are quick to lend a hand, keep an eye on the house, help with CG, cook a meal, watch our dogs, and send up prayers. Each one means so much. The outpouring of love is always appreciated. Thank you everyone for the thoughts and prayers. We have made it home safely. I’d like to ask everyone to continue praying for Chance as we are waiting on some important news. I know I ask a lot, but God is still working miracles and I’m still believing in ours. Just add him to your nightly prayers or your prayer chain, or both. Just please don’t forget to add him. From our family to yours, thank you.

Do your children “live” where they live?

I’m curious how many people allow their children to actually live in their home.

If you come to my house, you will quickly realize that it isn’t spotless. I ask that you be understanding and see that I would rather lay in Chances’ floor reading books with him or CG’s room playing dolls. I grew up where everything had a place and you kept it all together, all the time. My kids? Well, by now you can probably guess that I’m a little more relaxed in that department. Sometimes, I just like to sit and watch them play. Wherever it may be.

If you can’t accept that two little people live here and share their toys with everyone, scattering them through the house, you wouldn’t make good company for us.

Why is it that the kitchen is the one place that can be cleaned 10 times a day and still be dirty? I am 90% finished cleaning our house yet random dishes make their way to the sink and clutter seems to migrate to the kitchen table. Where is it coming from???? I love a clean house, but I absolutely detest giving up time with my kids to clean it!

Legos, doll clothes, and puzzle pieces are among the most popular items this week. It can be challenging finding the balance between allowing your children to play freely and creating boundaries.

Children have their entire lives to have someone stand over them and dictate. I believe in cleanliness and teaching them to cleanup but this is their house. This is their home and they have the right to enjoy it like everyone else. I don’t tell my husband to play games on his phone in our room and practice his “duck calling” in his shed. He doesn’t tell me to read my kindle in our room so why should I confine our children to theirs?

Teaching love.

Life can be messy and sometimes we try so hard to instill certain values in our children that we force another belief on them completely. If I had one wish it would be that my children stay open to love and remain innocent on their views. I want to give my children love and teach them to form friendships with others based on character not color, and behavior not belongings. There is something so pure in the love of a child. They don’t care about materialistic things, how you look, or what shoes you wear. They like you and befriend you simply because they like you and that’s all that matters. We could all learn a little something from our kids….

You can’t silence a Mother.

I am a fighter. I am a giver. I am the first to say when you are wrong, and the first to stand behind you. I am opinionated, and I care. I love you. I am your mother.

A few days ago I stumbled across an article by another woman. In short she stated that “there is nothing special about being a mother, especially a stay at home mother. Anyone can do it. Being a mother is not an accomplishment.” I disagree. Becoming a mother is the greatest privilege of a woman. In today’s society it seems if we aren’t chasing a career or becoming a millionaire we are less than equal. I find that hard to swallow.

Somewhere along the way society has forgotten what a mother truly is. I am not an oven. I didn’t carry you for nine months to throw you to the wolves of this world. I will not allow them to chew you up and spit you out. I will stand by you, beside you, and in front of you when needed. I am your mother and you are my world.

There aren’t many things in this world that will send me into a fit of rage but let me assure you, my children are top on the list of things that will. I take my family as serious as one can. I am a young mother who works a full tim job. I dedicate every free moment of my life to my family. My husband is our rock. He is the provider, and the head of our home. I am proud to say I dote on my children and my husband. I would gladly give up anything and everything that should stand between me and those three.

Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but since when should ours be silenced? You can’t silence a mother and I refuse to be quite. It seems the only thing in mainstream media these days are from people taking away Jesus, taking away our pride, and those that belittle one who may be different. Being different is what makes each one of us special. I don’t judge those who choose not to have children and spend their lives married. I am proud of the life I’ve made for myself. I’m proud of the home I’ve built. Each of us come together completing our family. That is something to be proud of, not frowned upon. Regardless of whether you see it making front page news.

My children are the greatest thing I’ve ever experienced. My family, my husband, and my two beautiful children are by far my greatest accomplishment. Anyone who says that isn’t an “accomplishment” has never experienced true love. I don’t just kiss boo boo’s, and comb hair. I am much more than a cook, and house keeper. I am a mother. I create people. Real, living, breathing, people. Some children will grow up to be doctors or lawyers, others an artist or teacher. Remember if it where not for a mother these “people” would fail to exist.

Being a mother is the hardest job there is. The balancing act between love and discipline. Trying to build a strong bond with each of them. Allowing them to grow and experience life. Teaching them love, respect, honesty, and then allowing them to spread their wings and fly. A mother gives her entire life for her children. Every ounce of time and every smidgen of love a heart can hold. Only to release and let them go. Before you say being a mother isn’t hard, before you say being a mother isn’t something to be proud of, ask yourself who you would be today without the role of your mother.