Thieves.

I absolutely hate a thief. We all do. I can’t tell you how many times I see that as I scroll down my newsfeed, yet we are the biggest thieves of all. We allow other people and things to steal from us daily. They steal our joy away. Stealing our happiness away. I decided yesterday that it would be the first day of the rest of our lives and it’s been wonderful. If it doesn’t help me grow, it has to go! I’m purging all negativity in our lives. If it doesn’t bring us joy, and happiness, it’s gone. That goes for people as well. If you are surrounded by “killjoys” ditch them! If you are giving, giving, and giving and someone is just taking, let them go! I will no longer allow anyone to steal from me. Time and happiness on this earth is short and invaluable. Time and love are things we can’t get back. I’m a grown adult with a family, and I’m tired of allowing other things and people to cause me pain and stress. I’m not going to give up time with my family for someone or something that doesn’t appreciate it anyway. I have to tell you, it’s been very empowering! So, if you read this all the way to the end….I encourage you to purge too! Anything that doesn’t make you want to do and be better, let it go!

Perfection is overrated.

I have learned that life isn’t about getting it “perfect” but maybe living in the small instant that comes before perfect. After all, it’s more fun anyway.

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I’ve always taken 100 pictures to make sure I get just the right one. This morning when I found the last one was perfect, I backed up to that one above. It just seemed…..perfect. It captured the true essence that is my wild children. The world we live in creates this idea that everyone and everything should be a certain way at all times. I just have to disagree. Sometimes when you’re rushing out of the door to get to point B and the kids are already complaining that their shoes are too tight or the other one is taking their hair down and you are just about to snap before you can put the kids in the car in that moment, laugh. Yes, just laugh because no amount of screaming will make you feel quite as good. (Trust me)

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Photos tell a story and hold memories that often change over years. The one thing that stays the same is the photo itself. Nothing has brought me more joys and rewards than motherhood. I’m learning to live perfectly imperfect with a family perfect for me.

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If I could dance with my father again.

Throughout life you will find that as people come and go, some never really leave. I was thirteen years old when he passed away. He was and is still the greatest man I ever knew. My popa. In my mind he was the most honest, loving, and caring person to ever walk the earth. He was my knight in shining armor, my Prince charming, he was my hero. Actually, he still is my hero. He served for his country would have proudly done it again. He spent his days hunting and fishing before diabetes ultimately took his site. We spent our afternoons building things in the shed and making messes for my Nanny to clean up. He may have been set in his ways but I can’t recall a time he ever told me no.

To know him was to love him. He was the first man in my life, and set the bar pretty high for what a man should be. I know most kids enjoy spending time with their grandparents, but he was far more than just a “popa” to me. There was an unspoken bond between the two us. I remember asking one time “how could ever get married?!?!? There will be no dad to give me away!” He gave me this silly face and said “well, I wasn’t going to let just anybody take you off! Figure I’ll meet him first and I might let him have you.” I knew from that moment on, he would fulfill any “daddy duty” we encountered.

Sadly, he never made it to wedding day. To honor him, his photo was with us at the arch my husband and I exchanged our vows under. My actual father and I dedicated the “father-daughter” dance at my wedding to him. It was an extremely emotional moment for everyone, but I know that for every second that passed, he was with me. I was able to dance with home again (so to speak). That was the song played. Today he is weighing heavily on my mind and I hope that everyday since he has passed he’s been proud of who I am and who I am becoming.

 

To my popa, my hero, this one’s for you.

When you’re not enough, remember this…

“No matter how good of a woman you are, you will never be good enough to a man who isn’t ready.”

 

Words to live by no doubt. We’ve all had that one relationship or person that just couldn’t or wouldn’t work and yet we spent countless times trying to force it. When I was in high school, I thought I knew everything, had all the answers and you couldn’t tell me anything. Looking back, I am so grateful for all of the missed opportunities and unanswered prayers. My husband and I have known each other our entire lives and even though we maintained a good friendship, timing was always off. He was seeing someone or I was busy running my parents crazy. Funny how we look at things later isn’t it? Blessed is the understatement of the century.

I’ll never forget the first time he picked me up to “ride through town”. To this day I can tell you where I was at, what I was doing, and at least 90% of our conversation via text messaging. I knew walking out the door things would change, but I could have never guessed how much. From that moment on we where inseparable. Don’t get me wrong, it was nothing short of a whirlwind we were caught up in but, it was my whirlwind and I’ve never been real afraid of rough weather. I knew that we where in for it. I also knew there was nowhere else I’d rather be or anyone else I’d rather be in it with. My husband saved me. Whether he knew it then or if he even knows it now, he saved me.

Truthfully, I never thought I’d get married or I assumed I would end up with some “asphalt cowboy” as Jason Aldean so eloquently put it. Someone too busy chasing a living or a dream to settle down with little old me. We talked several times about marriage and I assumed the same for him. He’d marry some high school sweetheart and settle in right here. Funny how fate intervenes. It’s something you just can’t avoid. I am so glad it came knocking when it did and not a moment too soon. The most valuable lesson I’ve learned is that happiness isn’t always easy to find, and life is entirely too short. Enjoy it, when the right “Mr. Right” shows up it will be well worth the wait.

My husband far exceeds any and all expectations I had. He is loving, kind, hard-working, and dedicated. Most importantly, he reminds me that I’m just right for him. He loves and appreciates me flaws and all. He was worth the wait, the heartache, and the happy ending. If you have found yourself wondering if it’s time to close the book, I don’t have that answer. I don’t know your story or your pain. What I do know is life has a way of working itself out. Sometimes things fall apart for the sole purpose of better things coming together. This isn’t Cinderella and sometimes the shoe just doesn’t fit.