Do your children “live” where they live?

I’m curious how many people allow their children to actually live in their home.

If you come to my house, you will quickly realize that it isn’t spotless. I ask that you be understanding and see that I would rather lay in Chances’ floor reading books with him or CG’s room playing dolls. I grew up where everything had a place and you kept it all together, all the time. My kids? Well, by now you can probably guess that I’m a little more relaxed in that department. Sometimes, I just like to sit and watch them play. Wherever it may be.

If you can’t accept that two little people live here and share their toys with everyone, scattering them through the house, you wouldn’t make good company for us.

Why is it that the kitchen is the one place that can be cleaned 10 times a day and still be dirty? I am 90% finished cleaning our house yet random dishes make their way to the sink and clutter seems to migrate to the kitchen table. Where is it coming from???? I love a clean house, but I absolutely detest giving up time with my kids to clean it!

Legos, doll clothes, and puzzle pieces are among the most popular items this week. It can be challenging finding the balance between allowing your children to play freely and creating boundaries.

Children have their entire lives to have someone stand over them and dictate. I believe in cleanliness and teaching them to cleanup but this is their house. This is their home and they have the right to enjoy it like everyone else. I don’t tell my husband to play games on his phone in our room and practice his “duck calling” in his shed. He doesn’t tell me to read my kindle in our room so why should I confine our children to theirs?

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If I could dance with my father again.

Throughout life you will find that as people come and go, some never really leave. I was thirteen years old when he passed away. He was and is still the greatest man I ever knew. My popa. In my mind he was the most honest, loving, and caring person to ever walk the earth. He was my knight in shining armor, my Prince charming, he was my hero. Actually, he still is my hero. He served for his country would have proudly done it again. He spent his days hunting and fishing before diabetes ultimately took his site. We spent our afternoons building things in the shed and making messes for my Nanny to clean up. He may have been set in his ways but I can’t recall a time he ever told me no.

To know him was to love him. He was the first man in my life, and set the bar pretty high for what a man should be. I know most kids enjoy spending time with their grandparents, but he was far more than just a “popa” to me. There was an unspoken bond between the two us. I remember asking one time “how could ever get married?!?!? There will be no dad to give me away!” He gave me this silly face and said “well, I wasn’t going to let just anybody take you off! Figure I’ll meet him first and I might let him have you.” I knew from that moment on, he would fulfill any “daddy duty” we encountered.

Sadly, he never made it to wedding day. To honor him, his photo was with us at the arch my husband and I exchanged our vows under. My actual father and I dedicated the “father-daughter” dance at my wedding to him. It was an extremely emotional moment for everyone, but I know that for every second that passed, he was with me. I was able to dance with home again (so to speak). That was the song played. Today he is weighing heavily on my mind and I hope that everyday since he has passed he’s been proud of who I am and who I am becoming.

 

To my popa, my hero, this one’s for you.

It’s the little people in life.

Sometimes all you need is a little sunshine, a best friend, and a front porch.

After a very busy week filled with a lot of the normal chaos having two children brings, I decided we needed a break from our weekend. Ever notice how time off is never spent “off”? The previous week was jam packed with things to prepare and to catch-up on by the unexpected surgery for Chance and the everyday hustle and bustle of life. After much thought I decided sunshine was what we all really needed. Instead of trying to cram in one more activity or one more event, I grabbed a lawn chair, the kiddy pool, and the sprinkler the kids received at Easter. Moments later I was able to sit back and watch my kids enjoy their water wonderland.

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The whole memory cost about $15. That’s including the water used for the pool and the sprinkler ($10 of that can’t be counted because the pool is at least two years old). The sheer joy on their faces as the water sparkled in the sunshine was overwhelming. To others passing by it may have looked like a normal Sunday in the sun, but I was enjoying a little piece of heaven on earth. With my phone and all other electronics locked away inside we where able to really enjoy each other. It’s funny how easy it is to connect once you disconnect. The sound of their laughter while splashing each other was far better than any song the radio has to offer. Listening as their imaginations run wild was and is such a blessing to experience. Mermaids, monsters, whales, and boats where the highlights of their adventure in the lost lagoon (kiddy pool). Of course the monster was quickly fed up with the mermaids attemps to ride the whale off into the sunset! Hey, how many siblings do you know that do not disagree from time to time?

I learned a valuable lesson yesterday. It’s not just the little things in life, but the little people in life that make it so enjoyable. My children are my greatest accomplishment, and I spend so much time trying to teach them things or give them something to take with them through life, I fail to see the many things they can teach me. It’s not about the quantity of time we spend with each other but the quality of time. So turn off that smart phone, step away from the t.v.,and enjoy your little people!

Letter #52

Dear Husband,

I have contemplated this letter for a while now. Trying to decide the best way to tell you all of things you need to know.

You are the polar opposite of myself. I am loud, and you are silent. I am pulled into 1million directions and you stand still. We are entirely different people and it seems we rarely see eye to eye on anything.

You are without a shadow of doubt the best decision I have ever made. You complete me in ways I never even realized where incomplete. You are the yin to my yang and the Johnny to my June. Everyday, you save me. Thank you.

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Thank you for being my leg to stand on when I am weak, for being my rock to cling to when I can’t seem to hold on, and thank you for being the hand to hold when I’m lost and afraid. Thank you for saving me everyday that you’re here.

My dear husband, you make the bad days better, and the dark days seem brighter. You love me without question, and accept me and my every flaw. I could never describe how perfect you are to me, and for me. I don’t know about fair tales or happy endings, but I do know this is the only love I want to be in.

I’ve learned that marriage isn’t about perfection, it’s about forgiveness and grace. Together we have experienced the great joy of parenthood, and the pain of life. “A smooth sea never made for a skilled sailor.” We have overcome many obstacles so early on, that I’m sure we can handle any wave that comes our way. One thing is for certain, there isn’t another I’d want to take this journey with.

You are more than a friend, or companion. You wake up everyday with a mindset to give our children the best life possible. You are amazing. I’ve seen you work 7 days straight and not let one complaint slip out. You are a provider and a wonderful man. I’m blessed to have someone with such strong family morals.

I can’t promise you the sun, moon, and stars but what I can promise you is far better. I promise to give you hope, faith, and love. I will give you my hope when you have none. Hope to carry on and know that we will get through. I will give you my faith when yours is low. Faith in God, and faith in each other. Mostly, I will give you my love. All I my love, everyday.

Recent update on Chance

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A special thank you to every single person that prayed for us over the past few days. When I ask for prayer for my children, I can assure you that I genuinely need the prayers. Wednesday morning Chance went in to see his pediatrician after waking up with almost no voice. We learned he had a small lump in his throat. Friday morning Chance had an emergency checkup with his doctor/specialist. Words can not describe how scary all of this has been. I’m woman enough to admit that I have been beside myself, crying and a complete nervous wreck. You never know true fear until it becomes your child. More prayers went up Wednesday night than I could count. I was told by our Pastor and our family that The Lord would take care of it and not to worry. Well, he did just that. The lump is benign and shrinking on its own. Praise the Lord! His doctor, with the help of God gave us the answers we needed. It came with a relatively simple explanation. The scar tissue from his previous surgeries (12 to be exact) is pushing against his voice box and vocal cords causing it to loose sound. We’re hoping to meet with a reconstructive surgeon in the next few months and have it repaired. Until then, we push on. We pray and believe that God is in control and Chance will receive the healing he needs. In the years we’ve been battling this, numerous times we’ve been on the brink of finding a new treatment option only to find out Chance is not a candidate. Recently there have been some positive results coming from UAB in Birmingham. We were told Friday that Chance may have an opportunity to meet with a highly ranked doctor there and actually have a shot at trying his treatment plan. In the weeks that come I am asking that everyone please pray for my baby boy. He needs and deserves his miracle and I believe it is coming. From our family to yours, thank you. From the very bottom of our hearts. Thank you.

Our Doctor, Our Angel.

I’ve always believed that God has angels here on earth. Those that watch over us and help when we’re in need. They come in every shape, size, and every color. When other doctors had doubts, when our own family became skeptical, when we where at the end of our rope, I found myself sitting in a waiting room about to meet our angel. There will never be enough tears, enough thanks, enough words, to explain to this man what he has given me. He saved my baby. My own son almost lifeless and this man, with the help of God, gave us the miracle that is Chance.

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I will be forever in his debt. When I try to thank him and show my appreciation he always says “I’m doing what I was called to do.”. He is definitely doing Gods work! I could spend everyday, for the rest of my life thanking him and God, but I will never be able to repay what they have given me. I know The Lord spared my child for a reason. Some days I think “how could I have ever made it this far?” The answer is God. He has held me when I’ve been weak, and he has forgiven me when I’ve been mad. Four years doesn’t seem like a very long time to most people but it’s a lifetime for us. Almost four years ago I should’ve lost my son. With a little faith, and a lot of persistence, the good Lord opened the door. One day might not seem like a lot, but when you’re faced with so much adversity it’s a life changing “one day”.

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I almost missed out on potty training, bed time stories, and baseball in the backyard. I almost missed out on goodnight kisses, and I missed you bear hugs. Everyday for the last four years has been nothing short of a miracle. My son was the first born child, grandchild, and nephew for some. My son was the person who made our lives complete when we didn’t realize it had never been whole.

He is a walking, talking, real life miracle. I know when the time comes he will be completely healed. He will have an amazing testimony and be a testament to my faith. Be grateful, be thankful, and appreciate the little things. Sometimes the “little” things are really the big things. I’m asking that if you’ve read this you say a prayer for him once more. After being called to meet with his doctor, we received some not so exciting news yesterday. The tests will require being put to sleep again. For those still counting, this will be his 13th time put under, his 12th surgery and one more time I beg for an answer.

The will of God will never take you where the grace of God won’t protect you. I’m thanking each of you in advance. Every prayer counts, and each mean so much. From the very bottom of my heart, thank you.

I am not your “baby daddy”.

I’m sick and tired of seeing these little girls get on social media such as Facebook and brag about partying, tattoos, and materialistic garbage when they have NO JOB. This week they’re spending money like it’s going out of style, and next week will be bashing their “baby daddy” and asking for a handout. Get off your butt and get to work! I don’t care if you’re 18 or 28, you’re not grown.

A grown woman, a real mother puts her child or children first. Don’t worry, before you try to sale me some sob story, I know your kids are well taken care of, they’re fully covered on Medicaid and you get $500 a month in food stamps. That does not cover diapers, and that does not cover clothing. Oh! Wait, you get child support? Well, that’s supposed to support you child. It’s called child support not sorry support. You can’t take care of them if you’re buying yourself a new wardrobe or tattoos.

Let me clarify, I am NOT talking about those who need help to get back on their feet. I am specifically talking about those who ignore their child’s needs in order to cater to their own. Children half dressed, or looking like a mess, while you roll out the red carpet and get those nails done. Please, have several seats because you’re about to be schooled.

A real woman has morals, standards, and self respect. If you are wondering if I’m talking about you, you may want to check yourself. I am disgusted with this generation of illiterate people that try to claim they have it so hard, and they’re just trying to make it on their own, when my tax dollars are supporting them. If I’ve offended you, I can NOT say that I am sorry. Please feel free to keep scrolling, or ignore this article. I would hate to hurt your feelings when you’re wrecking my paychecks!

I firmly believe anyone who genuinely needs help should have the opportunity for it. Welfare was made as a stepping stone for people to get back on track. To help those who have stumbled. It was not made to replace a piece of crap “baby daddy” and support habits. I have had enough! I am not your “baby daddy” and I’m tired of giving out money. It isn’t free because I have actually worked for it! We all stumble but to survive, you better learn how to climb. I’m tired of climbing with a family of 5 on my back!!!!

You know what else I don’t like? Lazy parenting! Stop worrying about drugs and luxury things and take care of your kid! Most of these so called “woman” are only concerned with partying, drugs, and taking men from one another. Ladies, you really need to step it up If you want a man to commit to you. You will never have a good man if you spend your time at the clinic and in the streets. “When you know better, you do better.” now you know better.

What man wants a woman that’s too busy running the streets to run the kitchen? There isn’t one. That life may work for a while, but it won’t get you anywhere. Trust me, I’ve seen it with my own eyes. If you are married, you had better start praying for your marriage. This is a dead end road. The world does not owe you anything. That goes for men and woman. The actions you take don’t just hurt you but your children as well. Don’t be supposed when others don’t want you around. It’s a proven fact, you are most like the 5 people you spend the most time with. Who are you surrounding yourself with? The only person who is going to help you, is you. Get up and get to growing up. Help yourself and help your children.