Marriage, it’s just hard.

Some days are just hard. Hard to deal with and hard to love someone who hurt your feelings or got on your nerves. Some days it’s hard to love someone you don’t like. We’ve all been there. When you’ve worked all day long, and you come home to a house that needs cleaning, a dinner that needs making, homework that needs finishing, and that never ending pile of laundry that just won’t fold itself. Yes, loving someone (even ourselves) is just hard. When the garbage is piling up, and they haven’t taken out the trash, or everyone is laying down and you’re trying to catch up on the dishes, the last thing on your mind is “it”. Marriage, it’s just hard. When the kids are crying and someone doesn’t feel good; you try to juggle it all, and maintain some sanity, marriage gets harder. When you have had more than the average fair share of struggles and stress, marriage is harder than ever.

When you come home from work and, start dinner and realize the trash is already taken out, marriage gets easier. When you’re exhausted and, genuinely too tired to eat because you just need a hot bath, and you already have a tub of warm water, marriage gets easier. When a family member is ill, or your heart is breaking, but someone holds your hand, marriage gets easier. When you have a bad day, and they don’t judge your ugly cry; marriage gets easier. When the world is ugly and against, but you have one person on your side, marriage gets easier.

I’m learning that the greatest things in life aren’t easy. They are actually the hardest things, and they take the most work. The best things in life are never free. Your love isn’t free, it will cost you tears, your time, your pride and your anger. Your love costs a lot. But, theirs does too. Marriage is a full time job, with the greatest benefits. You have a best friend for life. In marriage, you learn a lot about your spouse but a lot about yourself as well. Marriage is hard, but marriage makes it easier.

Marriage over Media (part 2)

It is not your job to speak for your spouse.

I read posts and statuses daily from others declaring the love of their significant other. Demanding attention and agreement from peers. While social media has given us so many things, it has taken away just as much. We have found ourselves living in a world where woman and men alike constantly defend their relationships and whether it’s genuine or not on Facebook. If you are constantly defending your spouse or proclaiming his love for you, you are not the problem. You are only half the problem. You should never defend his love for you. You should never have to convince another person, especially another woman of your mans love for you. That’s his job. If he can’t profess his love for you on his own, you don’t need him.

Social media has taken things that should be done behind closed doors, in the privacy of your home and your heart and put it out for the world to see. We have got to stop looking for instant gratification online and take it back where it belongs. Nine times out of ten, others are not sharing in your heartaches anyway. They are laughing at it. It’s a sad truth. We have become so accustomed to sharing all of our thoughts with our “followers” that we’ve begun giving away pieces of ourselves and our marriages.  Something’s just aren’t meant for the world. They are meant for two people. You don’t hide love, you can’t. For it is something that is seen by all. You don’t defend love, it defends itself.

Just a little food for thought. Instead of taking your precious time to convince others how happy you are and well your relationship is, disconnect from the social world and reconnect with the center of your world. Your husband (or wife of course).