The hardest part of parenting is when a kiss can’t fix a “boo boo”.
Time and time again I have had others ask about Chance. If he is sick again, when was his last surgery, or any news on a possible cure? My answers are almost always the same. Sometimes I feel like I’m stuck on repeat. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a total optimist and I believe without a shadow of doubt the day is coming when he’ll receive a total miracle. Sometimes I think people just forget that I am human too.
I’m pretty open about what we’ve been through and I try to inform others but sometimes, well sometimes people just don’t use their brain. One time I actually had a woman in the local grocery store approach me and ask the usual questions. (I call it the top 5.)
“What’s wrong with him.”
” Can’t they fix it?”
“When will he have surgery again?”
“How did you find out?”
“Why haven’t they found a cure?”
When she asked “How do they fix it?” Trying hard not to sound irritated I answered, “there is no cure.” Her response was worse than the 10 minute interrogation on aisle 3. “Wow! That must suck!” I was at a loss for words. I decided in that moment it was best to avoid making a public scene and I politely just walked away. Had my son not been sitting in the grocery cart, I may have been the next mugshot on our county sheriff’s report. I learned then that sometimes, some people just don’t deserve a response. I can’t allow myself to get upset, or mad when my main focus should be finding new answers.
Yesterday, taking the boys to VBS (vacation bible school) one asked if Chance was sick because he was losing his voice. Not at all a problem, there was nothing rude about it. He doesn’t cry about or get upset. This is something new to both of us. The answer is relatively simple but not for a child. Chance completed his 13th surgery recently. With each surgery he has acquired more scar tissue. The scar tissue is sitting above his voice box, at times it vibrates down and cause his voice to become mute. We aren’t sure how long this will last or if it will ever go away. We’ve talked several times about reconstructive surgery but the timing is always off.
Shortly after getting out of the car, another child (a family member) says “What’s wrong with his voice? He sounds funny. Will it come back?” It’s hard to answer so many questions so suddenly. It’s really heartbreaking when his feelings are hurt. A skinned knee I can handle, a bump on the head, is not the end of the world. I don’t have the all the answers or the power to fix emotional boo boo’s. We as parents need to teach our children how to handle different. Other than his voice, my child looks like every other child out there. It makes my heart hurt for him and even more for those that have it harder. I try extremely hard not to blow up in those moments and set an example for my children. I try to remain polite and kind when I really want to sharpen my momma bear claws and rip you a new one. Parents, get a filter and give your kid one too!