I’ve spent countless hours learning. Some in high school, some in college, and a lot in books. Funny, I’ve learned more as a teacher (to my own children) than as a student. Sometimes children have a way of showing you the things you never realized before or things you simply forgot. When your children speak, listen. You’re never too old to learn something and you will never know it all.
At some point you realize that you have no control and the only thing scarier is realizing that you never did. In that moment, just breath because the truth is, everyone has that moment.
Do not dig up in doubt what you planted in faith.
Often times we get so caught up in trying to fix, explain, and resolve every little bump in the road that we loose our place in our journey. Life isn’t about correcting the wrong, or straightening the crooked. To put it simply, life is about living. You can’t live out your days trying to please those that aren’t happy. You just….live and you live to the best of your ability.
People will come and people will go. Some stay longer than others and some always come back. The point is that fate will intervene and even when you feel like you are completely lost or alone, you will look up and realize it’s the road you’ve been looking for all along. The Lord will never forsake you.
Life can be messy and sometimes we try so hard to instill certain values in our children that we force another belief on them completely. If I had one wish it would be that my children stay open to love and remain innocent on their views. I want to give my children love and teach them to form friendships with others based on character not color, and behavior not belongings. There is something so pure in the love of a child. They don’t care about materialistic things, how you look, or what shoes you wear. They like you and befriend you simply because they like you and that’s all that matters. We could all learn a little something from our kids….
Instead of being envious of the neighbors grass and wondering how it became so green, water your own. Take the time to pull the weeds from your own yard and give it the attention it deserves. The results may just surprise you. It is much easier and cheaper to maintain your own yard than pay the price of buying another.
The hardest part of parenting is when a kiss can’t fix a “boo boo”.
Time and time again I have had others ask about Chance. If he is sick again, when was his last surgery, or any news on a possible cure? My answers are almost always the same. Sometimes I feel like I’m stuck on repeat. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a total optimist and I believe without a shadow of doubt the day is coming when he’ll receive a total miracle. Sometimes I think people just forget that I am human too.
I’m pretty open about what we’ve been through and I try to inform others but sometimes, well sometimes people just don’t use their brain. One time I actually had a woman in the local grocery store approach me and ask the usual questions. (I call it the top 5.)
“What’s wrong with him.”
” Can’t they fix it?”
“When will he have surgery again?”
“How did you find out?”
“Why haven’t they found a cure?”
When she asked “How do they fix it?” Trying hard not to sound irritated I answered, “there is no cure.” Her response was worse than the 10 minute interrogation on aisle 3. “Wow! That must suck!” I was at a loss for words. I decided in that moment it was best to avoid making a public scene and I politely just walked away. Had my son not been sitting in the grocery cart, I may have been the next mugshot on our county sheriff’s report. I learned then that sometimes, some people just don’t deserve a response. I can’t allow myself to get upset, or mad when my main focus should be finding new answers.
Yesterday, taking the boys to VBS (vacation bible school) one asked if Chance was sick because he was losing his voice. Not at all a problem, there was nothing rude about it. He doesn’t cry about or get upset. This is something new to both of us. The answer is relatively simple but not for a child. Chance completed his 13th surgery recently. With each surgery he has acquired more scar tissue. The scar tissue is sitting above his voice box, at times it vibrates down and cause his voice to become mute. We aren’t sure how long this will last or if it will ever go away. We’ve talked several times about reconstructive surgery but the timing is always off.
Shortly after getting out of the car, another child (a family member) says “What’s wrong with his voice? He sounds funny. Will it come back?” It’s hard to answer so many questions so suddenly. It’s really heartbreaking when his feelings are hurt. A skinned knee I can handle, a bump on the head, is not the end of the world. I don’t have the all the answers or the power to fix emotional boo boo’s. We as parents need to teach our children how to handle different. Other than his voice, my child looks like every other child out there. It makes my heart hurt for him and even more for those that have it harder. I try extremely hard not to blow up in those moments and set an example for my children. I try to remain polite and kind when I really want to sharpen my momma bear claws and rip you a new one. Parents, get a filter and give your kid one too!